Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Stunned Curiosity

Today marks the day before a season of fighting cancer recurrence with a new combo of chemo drugs.
I am feeling many many emotions as it relates to this news that was disclosed to me on December 21st. Treatment was not an emergency, so I flew out to Ohio for Christmas, and came back with the agreement to call in to my oncologist upon my return.
I did that, and then the motions began to ready my body for the impending treatment of tomorrow.
Power port procedure.
Blood work.
Waiting for skin to heal two weeks-not one-my request.
Boom. Now it's time to start the infusions-or "fusions" as my word maker mother texted me.
She wanted to know when the "fusions" started tomorrow.
I was amused by her use of hat sounds like...infusion, but she chose to use fusion. I much better prefer the ladder word. It sounds like a sophisticated gathering of a party of sorts. "What time will the "fusion" be happening darling? You'd have to know my mother to appreciate the humor in this. I loved it, and embraced it. I can honestly say the emotion that arose in that word fumble really brought me a chuckle and what felt like "Joy" . Years ago I would have felt annoyed and the need to correct her. Now, I smile, accept her, and her words, and embrace the joy in turning something that feels really medical and borderline terrible as an infusion to a fusion where some cool events could have. A mixing of sorts.

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