Saturday, May 30, 2009

End of a long day-Saturday, May 30th

I just want to say a quick hello to all. I am tired, and understanding chemo fatigue in a new way-now that chemotherapy is a reality. I feel sooooooo tired. However, I forced myself to walk outside this evening with Elisha. I ate small meals all day to stay off the nausea verses taking more anti-nausea drugs. I am trying to limit my pill (never knew there could be so many variations of a drug against nausea) intake to a minimum, and just listen to my body tell me what it needs. It is saying "sleep" at the moment.
It was good to breathe in the fresh air tonight, and just move my body forward. It was beautiful to watch my very active 5 year old just "run"! Experiencing these chemo drugs feels somewhat surreal. I am reflecting on Cathy's (my oldest sister's comment last week about "mind over matter") I had to overcome the EXTREME fear of having to give myself lovenox shots daily to thin my blood. Pronto! Cathy used that statement via a phone call to help ease my freak out of having to do something I really did not want to do. (My lovenox story will come soon in a short video)
So, I am asking God tonight to help me keep my mind (positive) over my matter (my tired body), and help me get my aching body out of bed in the morning to worship Him and fellowship at church. That's the plan. I will keep you posted. Be well everyone!

Nurse Jane Miller

Jane Miller is my primary nurse in the infusion room. She is so kind, efficient, positive, encouraging & very smart. Her expertise as it pertains to chemotherapy is amazing. She is taking good care of me.

More photos from Chemo # 1

Some of The Healing Team taken on Chemo Infusion # 1-May 28th)

Marlane and Mary-Margaret (above) Kathleen and MM (below)
Nurse Laurie Sullivan (aka: Sigourney Weaver) Dr. Carolyn Krasner (to me: Dr. "C"-chemo doc)

Friday, May 29, 2009

The day after the Taxol/Carboplatin Blast (well MGH calls it an IV drip)

I woke up with the predicted symptoms from my very smart, articulate and deeply appreciate primary care "Nurse Jane". She is a God-send, and I am grateful she was assigned to me! I felt nausea (but, kind of like being first pregnant-sorry guys, I know you can't relate) Anyway, when I awoke this morning bright and early, I had rosy cheeks, tingling in my fingers, ringing in my ears, and slight irritation in my eyes. One of the last things that Elisha said to me last night before saying prayers and going to sleep was this: Mom, I know that you just have one cancer cell, and chemo shark is going to put on his night vision and kill it tonight!
A prophet-my son! I receive that word of great encouragement, and we sealed it with a prayer.
Elisha is a very precious part of this journey. Jamie is, too, but his maturity in all this makes my heart well with such love. Jamie and Elisha made me a banner yesterday to be place on a wall called the "Wall of Hope". Family & friends of cancer patients can make these. Elisha did a very amazing portrait of me with the wildest hair imaginable. (he must of used 5 squirt bottles of the fabric paint) He was delighted. Jamie scripted a statement that went like this: "Mom, show cancer who is the boss." I immediately thought of the name of my blog, and CHRIST indeed is triumphant over cancer. He is the boss!
Anyway, for being in a place yesterday that is hospital-like-well, what am I saying it is a hospital, although the Yawkey Center is specific to outpatient care.
I put in a productive day of work. I facilitated literacy groups with my ELL writers most of the morning! It was so good to not be doing the end-of-year administrative work, and just see students and get them to write! That is my passion!
Anyway, I want to assure all my friends and family that I really did okay today. Your prayers are upholding me. God is near.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Hello Everyone: (otherwise known as "The beloved community of support")
I am hooked up to the Taxol chemo IV cart (see photo) as I write, and I am "thanking my God upon every remembrance of each one of you." I am also thanking Him for the professional, compassionate, brilliant, humor-filled, kind, and wonderful chemo team. I also thank God that I am in a state of the art facility that offers patients laptops? Unbelievable.
Kathleen Kearns kindly came with me, and is facilitating a "blog" for me to journey with many (including all of you) on this journey of hope to a cancer free life!
God is near. I read Elisha's "Chemo Shark" last night. It's a children's book to help a child cope with a mom that has been diagnosed with cancer. It helped me, too. Elisha and Jamie will be here later to see mom, and find reassurance. They will also be making a banner to go on the Cancer ward's "Wall of Hope". This place feels like a deep place of healing. God knew. Now, I do.

So, I formally (and publically to the world!) thank all of you for everything you have done on my behalf. Your prayers sustain me. Your care fills me. Your love warms me.
"Whenever I am afraid I will trust in Thee". I told Elisha to think on that and squeeze his new Penguin stuffed animal named Douglas and say that out loud every time he is missing Mommy or feeling afraid. So, welcome to my Journey of Hope.
with much love,