February 1, 2011 Blogging Again

Well, intentions are good, but....I have not been able to keep up with the blogging.
I am at my post three month after 18 months of chemo treatment point.
I went to see Dr. "C" yesterday to get the results from my CT scan.
C-L-E-A-R! I appreciate knowing that information.
I waited with 40% anxiety from Sunday to Monday when my appointment was scheduled.
It manifested with a restless sleep, and a state of discombobulation internally. It was weird, but I got through it, and come April for the next three month check up-I know what to expect, but then again, with a cancer diagnosis-do I really know what to "expect"?
As I was finishing the Avastin treatment in October 2010, after being encouraged to "hold off" on removing the power port in my right side of my chest, I humorously (but seriously) scolded my oncologist about feeling like the whole team of doctors are just waiting for this ovarian cancer that had previously invaded my ovaries and fallopian tubes and my stomach lining called something that begins with the letter "O" to creepily come back...
I insisted that my power port be removed in November, and that was granted to respect my psychological need to say "enough".
I rely on Proverbs 3:5-6
The Lord spoke to me through this scripture many many months ago. In my darkest moments with dealing with this diagnosis I meditate on His word. He reminds me...
"Mary-Margaret, trust Me with all your heart. Do not lean on the knowledge of doctors. Do not lean on your fears, Acknowledge Me, Mary-Margaret. My Name. My Power. My Strength. My Love. I promised to direct your path and I have. This is the path I have led you to follow. Trust Me."