Elisha is Back

Sunny Day in Massachusetts

Today marks the day before Elisha returns home to New England from his time out in Ohio with his many relatives that include Grammy Lou and Grandpa "B". I am excited to see my boy, hug him, talk with him, hug him some more, hear of his great adventures of swimming, swimming & more swimming! I feel energetic today, and ready to face the time I have to lesson plan and run solo errands before my almost 6 year old returns! These past three weeks have been a gift to me.

I am grateful to my family for all of the many facets of help they have given me, and are giving me.

The outpouring of love and tangible help during this season in my life awes me.

This experience is curing me of my propensities to be cynical, for sure.

New Hair: It's called Light Chocolate

Wig Day

Okay, first good news! My CA125 (which is a type of blood test for ovarian cancer) has gone down. Since surgery it went from a whopping 306 to an 18. After chemo infusion # 1 it has traveled down to an 11. I am going for 0. The reality is: This number has to stay in the normal range for a few years...(5 or 6) to be deemed a cancer survivor-that is my understanding of the information my surgeon gave me. Wow, dastardly little cancer gargoyles hide and do strange things within a body. 0-35 is a normal range for a woman. I am so grateful today for the surgical team that took care of me on the 17th of April, and the chemo team henceforth.

So, today marks the day I become a "red head" for a season. I think I'll go short-spiky red head verses a long flowing hair-do, but I will rely on divine inspiration when I see the "floor models".

My scripture for the day today was: "But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: you are of more value that many sparrows." Luke 12:7

I laughed to myself about the hair metaphor in the scripture. I have a few left, and actually feel like I look like a gosling. God knows the number of hairs on my head, but it's not a big count lately. Tufts of soft downy like hair on my very bald head are just hanging on, but I am guessing two weeks two days from this past infusion will be another session of "chao pelo".

I thank God I still have my eyebrows and eyelashes, but it is my understanding that those will go, too. It will be an opportunity to get very creative with eyeliner. I have been wearing mascara since I was too young to wear it. A reprieve from it will be humbling. Okay, so I am off to the salon at MGH where they will help me with this wig thing. I am reminded of Uncle Harley Davison's comments: "Hair is over-rated".

My Little Swimmer Returns!

I am counting the days until Elisha returns home.

This time of him spending with family has been a tremendous help to me, but three weeks is too long to be away. (Maybe not according to him...) He has been swimming non-stop!

Next summer, two weeks maximum, and then mama will join him in the midwest fun.

I have a great family.

Made it Through the bone-breaking flu-like symptoms of that Taxol chemo drug

I fared pretty well this time considering constipation was NOT an issue. Let me tell you the gift in that reality. Huge blessing. I chose to keep away from the stronger (and the medium) anti-nausea drugs, but ended up throwing up on Sunday night (or was that Monday morning...). It's all kind of a hazy blurrr. The effect on day 3 is like having a flu, but not exactly. I cannot explain it. But for those of you that are praying for me, please intercede on day 3 of my chemo infusions... (The next day three will be July 12)

The nursing staff at MGH helped me via the phone line, and I ended up taking the "medium" anti-nausea pills just to get the nausea under control. It is a balance of letting my body accept the drugs to do their important work of killing the cancer, and enduring the side-effects. God is helping me every step of this way. (Psalm 93) He reigns over my life. I feel His presence even in the small moments of my daily life when I am trying to decide what is important to spend my low energy on. I know that I am now on the uphill climb back to an energy level that will allow me to function daily, and to gear up for the month's work of literacy teaching to a group of emerging ninth graders. I am excited about teaching this summer. It's part-time. It's a provision. I love teaching, and facilitating better writing skills. The work takes place between July 1-31 from 8:00-12:00. I can do this with the grace of God, and some extremely detailed lesson planning. I believe it is a stepping stone to my employment for next year's 2009/2010 academic year. No word yet on a new contract. I wait. Surrender. Wait more. I surrender more. So, this post is just to let all of you know that I am upward bound, and walking forward daily relying on His strength for today and hope for tomorrow.

Day After Chemo Infusion # 2

Good News! I slept well last night. I woke up semi-refreshed at 5:30. I dealt with the nausea with food, and did have to take a single pill this morning to counter the chemo affects! This is important to me! Constipation is officially a non-issue! I "went" first thing this morning. Ahhhhhhh...the "gift" of regularity. I could do a commercial as it related to this one- anti-nausea drug side affect to chemo treatments.

No more Zofran (the big anti-nausea drug)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't do: Decadron (steroid that counters an allergic reaction and helps Zofran work better)

Say no to Ativan (anti-nausea-chill pill used at night!)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stomp-a-zine Compazine (the medium anti-nausea drug)!!!!!!!!

No drugs for me, but the ones that thin my blood, and kill my cancer (and hair cells, and...yadadadadada-I will spare you those details) Yes, I officially look like a gosling (a baby goose) with a bit of hairs left on the top of my head. Jamie has agreed to do a "Mother & Son-Are-Bald portrait" at a professional studio with me-just to mark this milestone in my life photographically. As soon as the last strand leaves my head, I am booking a studio appointment.

I am serious about this project. Does everyone know Jamie makes a conscience choice to shave his head? He is a rare blue-eyed young man that can pull this look off well. He's a beauty. I love my two boys soooooooooooooooooooooooo much. Well, one is a boy, Elisha, but the other has turned into a fine young man. Jamie will be 23 this July, and Elisha will be 6 this July. God has blessed me with two very unique first-borns. My rubies. I am grateful to have been given the calling to raise sons. Be well everyone. I am feeling well for today.